Two heroes ready and willing to solve your toughest dilemmas, whose opinions will you value most?
Tom in Allendale writes:
Hi guys, I am a big fan read your work, I read you guys every week but now I need your help. My wife left me for my new boss, I just turned 45, my pet chinchillas just died and I just got my walking papers from my job because I am getting called back to active duty for Afghanistan after 15 years out of the National Guard, which by the way I signed up for to get a good job and pay for the wedding to my EX. I don’t know what to do; it doesn’t seem like life is worth living!
Please help,
Tom
“Sure glad I’m not Tom”.
Looks like you got some hard choices there Tommy boy, but then the whole world is crumblin down around ya, and all you can do is whine about some pet rats, a crappy job and dirty ex-wife. Can’t you see the end is nigh man, its coming for us all buddy boy. You gotta ask yourself if you’re the kind of quivering little girl that shirks his responsibility because he had a few bad breaks, or if you’re a real Guardsmen and you own up to your life and go get some commie-ass!
But hey, that’s just one man’s opinion, feel free to toddle off and put us out of your misery!
Yours truly,
Rorschach
Hello Thomas,
What my counterpart (in the most distinctive ways) fails to comprehend is that your future is already completed. Your past, present, and future selves are colliding mercilessly into and out of each other. You have no decision to make; it has already been made and unmade in the same instant. Was it my fault for leaving that watch in the atomic chamber? Or perhaps the obese man who broke it is to blame; better yet my father is to blame for the destruction of Japan and the entire nuclear destruction of millions because he couldn’t have a watchmaker for a son. But I digress; in the end you are a watch without a maker, you can only tune yourself.
Best regards, sorry you decided to make the wrong choice next week though, but because the universe will not even notice. In my opinion the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
Dr. Manhattan
Adrian from Anytown writes:
What if you know that you have to do something in order to save the world, but in doing so you irritate some people of no particular consequence, possibly some people might get hurt or dead, but the world as a whole would be better off, of that you’re sure? Any suggestion on how to go about completing this plan in secrecy from say, nosey wana-be detective types or an all knowing being?
Not waiting for your response,
Adrian
Greetings Adrian,
I too have experience in the dilemmas of the greater good. Whether it was the completion of my nuclear physics work, or personally ending the Vietnam conflict, each was a burdensome chore. Although sometimes our actions can be burdensome, I certainly understand the inevitability of extreme actions to solve touch conflicts; take it from me, I built a perfect structure out of glass on Mars just to get away from it all. If you wish to conceal your actions from the future, I suggest an electromagnetic pulse, possibly from the detonation of warheads; that could cause a significant static blinding the future. In the end, small sacrifices must be made for the good of the whole, which is the nature of human nature as I have come to understand it.
Best of luck, warmest regards, and please let me know if I can be of further assistance to your plan,
Dr. Manhattan
What a bunch a garbage!
The two of you ought to work together on your little psycho-sinister plot to “save” the world. After reading yours’ and Dr. Cold-as-Ice’s letters, I am convinced more now than ever that the end is certainly nigh! Look, you’re talking about the destruction of some to save the whole, this kinda thinkin is what got those crazy Nazi’s in trouble. They blamed a few in order to “save” themselves. I dedicated my adult life to punishing the wicked and really saving humanity from itself, you just want to cheat the whole process, wipe some people out so the rest might learn some sorta lesson. This is just nonsense, punish a few innocent so the guilty get the hint huh??? Don’t think SO, sport! Count me against your wreckage. Coming to stop your destruction. Nothing else to be said. Action now, consequences damned. Better let someone know I’m on it.
-Rorschach
By: David Eklund